


intermission

by moreids



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: M/M, Morgan just wants to protect his bf, yall idk why i keep hurting reid but. they are soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-28
Updated: 2017-03-28
Packaged: 2018-10-12 05:35:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10483224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moreids/pseuds/moreids
Summary: Reid's hurting and scared and alone. The only person he thinks to call is Morgan.





	

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from intermission by sleeping at last ! i feel like it fits addict reid well because this is directly after reid gets kidnapped n hooked on dilaudid :((( also super slight mentions of drugs

The calls start the same night that Reid digs his own grave.

His apartment is too dark and too quiet and it hurts his eyes and his ears and his head. He’s completely still and there's nothing to stimulate his thoughts, but all of his senses feel overloaded. The air in his lungs feels too thick as it rattles through his chest, and every time he moves his head the echo of the gunshot reverberates around in his skull.

Dirt is still caked under his fingernails and his clothes itch so much that they burn but his hands are shaking badly enough that he can't take them off.

Reid feels like he’s on fire.

It’s unbearably hot and his veins feel like gasoline coursing through him and if he keeps scratching he’ll break the skin and everything will be on fire, but he can't stop scratching. He’s burning from the inside out and he has to keep scratching or he’ll explode and it won’t be anything like the way a star dies.

Reid sits on the bathroom floor with his knees drawn up to his chest and the vials in front of him, taunting him. He can't bring himself to throw them out.

He tries everything, but he can’t do it. He thinks of his mom, he thinks of his team, tries to conjure up the image of each of their faces individually and how disappointed they’d be if they could see him now.

The ache to forget won’t go away and he knows he can make the memories stop. He can turn them hazy and the cabin in the woods won’t exist anymore, even if it’s just for a little while. The drugs stopped his heart once before and he’s almost hoping they’ll do it again.

However much later it is when Reid's speed dialing the first number in his contacts, his voice shakes worse than his hands do. He doesn't manage to get out more than Morgan's name but _he understands, it's okay, he’s on his way, stay right there, Reid. ___

__Time passes slowly but not at all as he waits for Morgan. He tries to count to a thousand but starts over every time he blinks, because the light lurking just behind his eyes is the same one he saw when he died earlier._ _

__Morgan has his own key so Reid doesn't hear him come in but suddenly there’s three of him kneeling in Reid’s field of vision and a blurry hand shaking his shoulder. Reid vaguely hears his name being called, but it’s like it’s through glass, or underwater._ _

__When Reid can finally focus the concern on Morgan’s face stops him cold. He shouldn't have called. Morgan doesn't need to see him like this, weak and pale and trembling on the floor._ _

__Reid chokes out an apology and the shame and shock welling in his throat won't let him say anything else. He isn't sure when he started crying but his eyes sting when he shuts them._ _

__The hand on his shoulder is pulling him forward and Reid doesn't have the strength to resist, even if he wanted to._ _

__With his arms wrapped around Reid, Morgan maneuvers them so that he's sitting with his back to the wall and Reid half in his lap. Reid's forehead presses into the larger man's shoulder and he tries not to feel guilty for getting his shirt wet. Morgan's chin rests on top of his head as he holds onto Reid so carefully it's as if he's afraid Reid will break if he lets go. Morgan's all immovable skin and muscle and bone beneath him, steadfast like a rock while Reid’s only the waves breaking against him._ _

__“Just breathe, Reid. You're gonna be okay. I’m here, just breathe,” Morgan says, his words muffled by Reid’s hair._ _

__He keeps talking to fill the silence, even though he knows Reid isn't really listening. The sound of his voice is steady and calming and it's all Reid can focus on._ _

__They sit together like this, unmoving, for the better half of the night. Together they simply exist._ _

__Reid’s gasps for breath eventually turn into hiccups, because that's what happens when he gets upset. The rise and fall of Morgan’s chest is soothing, reliable, and he starts subconsciously matching his inhales and exhales with Morgan's._ _

__By the time Reid can finally concentrate on what Morgan’s saying he’s run out of reassurances a long time ago, so he’s telling Reid the story of his first little league game. He rubs Reid’s back as he talks and the motion feels almost instinctual._ _

__“I’m so sorry, Reid,” Morgan says after a beat of silence. His tone is so pained that Reid can't look at him._ _

__“Why are you sorry? You got me out of there.”_ _

__His voice is hoarse but wavers much less than it did before. Morgan's hand on his back is gentle, fingertips absently running over each notch of his spine._ _

__“You _died _, Reid. He hurt you. He’s still hurting you. The last thing I want is you hurting, ever.”___ _

____Reid sighs and Morgan traces circles in the space between his shoulder blades._ _ _ _

____“None of this is your fault, Reid.”_ _ _ _

____When he's finally calm enough to look Morgan in the eyes the sadness and worry he finds in them makes his heart feel heavy._ _ _ _

____Morgan gives him a soft smile, hardly more than a quirk of his lips. “Better?”_ _ _ _

____Reid nods. He can breathe again and he knows Morgan won't push him to talk if he doesn't want to._ _ _ _

____He’s acutely aware of how vulnerable he is, messy, tear stained, and exhausted, but for once he doesn't care. He doesn't want to move. Reid wants to sit here until the sun comes up with his head on Morgan's chest and the sound of his heart beating in his ear to remind him that his own still works, too._ _ _ _

____After a while Morgan notices how hot Reid feels. He puts a hand on his cheek and Reid jumps just slightly at the contact of fingers splayed out along his jaw and a thumb brushing against his cheekbone._ _ _ _

____“Reid, you're burning up.”_ _ _ _

____Reid only hums in agreement. He’s too tired to talk so he leans into Morgan’s hand, closing his eyes at how much cooler his skin feels._ _ _ _

____Morgan pushes the hair sticking to Reid's forehead out of his eyes and tries to wiggle out from underneath him, and only gets a whine in protest. Reid clings to him stubbornly, arms around his neck, and Morgan sighs. A clock on Reid's table flashes a quarter to four._ _ _ _

____“We gotta get up, Reid. You need to cool down.”_ _ _ _

____“So tired,” Ried mumbles, a little slurred with sleep. Morgan can feel the younger man frowning against the side of his neck._ _ _ _

____“I know, but just a quick shower and you can go to bed,” Morgan tries to reason, and when Reid makes no move to get up he smirks. “Alright, I gave you your chance, kid. Don't say I didn't warn you.”_ _ _ _

____With his arms around Morgan’s neck Reid’s left his sides exposed, and Morgan takes the opportunity to tickle him until he laughs and lets go, springing up with a grin. The laugh dies in his throat when he catches sight of the marks on his arm and he tugs his sleeve down hastily, even though Morgan’s already seen it._ _ _ _

____Morgan shakes his head as he steers Reid towards the shower. “Stop it, there's nothing to hide. You really think I’m here to judge you?”_ _ _ _

____Reid knows the answer but doesn't say anything and only steps into the tub obediently. He tries to unbutton his shirt, but the slight tremors in his hands have Morgan reaching over to do it himself. Reid stands in the shower, swaying unsteadily on his feet, as he waits for more instruction from Morgan._ _ _ _

____“This is the part where you shower, Reid,” Morgan prompts, smiling as Reid yawns. “I’ll get you some clothes, pretty boy. Don’t fall asleep standing up.”_ _ _ _

____Reid scrubs himself until his skin is pink and he’s not sweating but shivering under the cold water. He makes sure he’s as clean as he can possibly get; scrapes the dirt out from under his nails, washes the smell of the woods out of his hair, avoids the soreness in the crook of his arm._ _ _ _

____The clothes Morgan leaves out for him are loose and don't make his skin itch and glancing in the mirror, Reid thinks he can almost recognize himself._ _ _ _

____Morgan waits patiently outside the bathroom door for him. Reid noticed that Morgan took the vials out of the bathroom when he brought in clothes, but they can fight about it when Reid has the strength to._ _ _ _

____“Look at you, all cleaned up.” Morgan smiles proudly, holding out a glass of water and a piece of toast._ _ _ _

____Reid manages to eat half of it before the lateness of the hour is catching up with him, and he flops down on his couch with a tired sigh that could be mistaken for a contented one._ _ _ _

____The sky is brightening slightly and the sunrise creeps in through the open blinds, casting bars of light across his face. They managed to make it through the night. Reid smiles so slightly it could've been a trick of the light._ _ _ _

____His eyes are already half closing as he reaches up and tugs on Morgan's hand, fingers curling around his wrist to pull him down onto the couch with him. Morgan pauses for a second at the bruises encircling Reid’s wrist, but leans down to his level, eyes shining in the light._ _ _ _

____“Sleepy,” Reid states, and pulls on Morgan's arm again as if this is the only explanation needed. He’s too tired for a full sentence but he doesn't want to go to sleep without Morgan._ _ _ _

____Morgan laughs softly and nudges his shoulder. “Move over kid, I’ve got no room.”_ _ _ _

____As soon as Morgan is settled down on the couch Reid returns to his previous spot, his head now in Morgan's lap. He’s hogged the entire couch and Morgan doesn't have room to stretch out so he sits upright while Reid is already fast asleep. He doesn't mind, he didn't think he was going to sleep tonight anyway._ _ _ _

____Unconsciously, Morgan starts threading his hands through Reid’s hair. He doesn't have to, Reid’s not awake, but the movement is intended to be more calming for him than it is for Reid._ _ _ _

____He’s worried about him. Morgan's always worried about Reid, of course, that's how they work, but this is serious._ _ _ _

____Reid's the strongest person Morgan's ever met, so he knows he’ll pull through no matter how long it takes. It still hurts to watch, though. Morgan hates feeling helpless like this, only able to pick up all the pieces Reid falls apart into when Reid allows him to._ _ _ _

____They sleep peacefully for no more than two hours before they have to get ready for work. Morgan spends a good ten minutes trying to convince Reid to take time off, but he won't budge. If not for the context of the conversation, Morgan would've laughed at the image of them, arguing half dressed in Reid’s living room like an old married couple._ _ _ _

____Reid wants to tell him that he only trusts Morgan to see him weak like this but the reason he gives is that work is too important to leave._ _ _ _

____Morgan wants to tell him that work is how they got here in the first place and he just wants Reid to think of himself for once. He wants Reid to be selfish. He doesn't have to be a hero._ _ _ _

____When Reid walks into the office a half hour after Morgan, even though no one would have questioned them coming in together, all that passes between them is a look of understanding. They never talk about it here. When they’re here they’re professionals and nothing is wrong._ _ _ _

____And when Reid calls him again the next night, Morgan doesn’t show up at his door as a coworker, only as a friend._ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> honestly it hurts me to write reid in pain but i keep doing it so im playing myself lmao i hope u all like this !! feedback is appreciated have a good day or night <3


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